I got a ticket

I don't need a reminder of wath could be or couldn´t
I´m fucking crazy but not that much
I don´t need that you hide from me
there´s nothing i wanna take away from you
I lay my soul upon you, i gave you my heart
with out pretending a trade.
I can be very silly yo know?
Hold on my phone is ringing...
yeap great my crazy ex
after all this years is the only one who kept on saying i love you
but i don't believe him, mostly because i don't believe my self
I say shut up to my head so many times but she keeps screaming
runing away at the meaddle of nowhere
just to perform my final destination
one last show, the final act of salvation
I'll play russian bullet once more
but this time whit full load
I don't wanna fail! not this time!
A ticket to die
That's the only present for me this year
Reaching again the bottle, searching desperatly for my cigarrettes
i don't need clothes for this trip.
I'm sorry for my cats
but they will be just fine, they are strong cats, like i used to be.
Hey jack? why are you so empty...
put the bottle in my eye and look trought her
one last drop finaly meets my lips
the tears falling down my cheeks
there's no one to catch them
It wasn´t your fault in case you're wondering
it's just me
thats the way i'm, i never lost my pad
i'm an alcoholic, a drogadict a fucking hore
a borderline, an angry person, rabish full of madness
i´m a fucking firecraker
and i´m going to blow
I wish my life where different you know?
i whis a had an smile to show
a love to brag about
but at the end
i only have my cigarettes and my jack
All the promises i made in vain
All the treatments that couldn´t help me
All the emptyness, from the void my soul screams!

I found you in the same exact place
where i found you for the first time
Funny isn´t so?
You haven´t change a bit
still afraid, still a child hiding in your blankets
looking for something
but when you find it
you kick it away

The same voice, the same emptyness
I used to look trought your eyes
Now i´m blind
i´m tapping the vain that bleeds

Crawling, crying
wounded

I wish you good luck
I send you a kiss
I say fair well my love
Game well play
I loose

Cheers my honey
don´t be sad
it almost will be relaxing
Beyond this it will be no pain, no cuts
no burnings, no more wounds to lick
I wanna be in peace
If that means death
so be it.