jueves, 14 de enero de 2010

Here comes the rainy days

No exit, i´m trap in a spiderweb
I see life goes by
and my feets stuck in concrete

Feeling numb, walking like a zombie
working in automatic mode
taking pill after pill

whitout having the straigth to call you for my stuff
is just that i don't want to see you
i´m sure you smell different
somehow you live
somehow i died

waiting for the rain
i want rainy days
when the sky turns grey and the ancients gods start to roar

A days a go i felt confortable in one place
but i know is just another twist of faith
it was a sad joke pretend that he call me back

I'm just so fuck up
now walking the same streets that one walked togheter
it makes me feel even more alone
i know i'm not alone
but i need something more
i always wants more

I´m a predator thats way i have canines
i have a new puppy
she's not pretty
but she is lovely
cover with dirt, flyes, scars
she almost look like my self

In the nigths she cries
and there's no way to confort her

deep inside i know
she feels insecure and lonely
maybe scared to be abandoned again

so i whisper in her hear,
babe, i not going to leave you is a promess
and hell knows that i never break a promess

and then like magic she look at me
and give a me a kiss

domingo, 10 de enero de 2010

The Labyrinth

And the queen gave birth to a son named Asterion...

Half bull, half human
like me half wolf half women
scared like i never been
waiting that the walls colapse over me
spying on you
watching you go on and demanding remachts
with another one
writing without fear that you're in love

what's left for me?
a emptyness
a shadow
stucks in the walls of your house
like a nightmare
that a get ride off

Like a slave
in my knees crawling, bleeding

I always said to you that you're in love from her
and not from me
that you just was afraid to being alone

You play whit me
like a puppet
I'm cutting my strings but still hurts

Everything good or bad return to us in a tripple way
well let´s hope that you have the straight to resist
what is coming for you.

jueves, 7 de enero de 2010

The crisis

I hate the way the things
turn out to be
All the wasted years, remains like ashes of a big fire
a fucking pire of lost and desintegration

I'am alone now
my cat roars she loves me
i don't kon why?
may be because i save her
from the street and the kicks
i'll never know

Yesterday i had a crisis
a big one
when everything tourn yellow around you
the air avoiding your lungs
the hands trembling
the tears falling down
the pain in my head
in my soul the hole gets bigger
i´m afraid of that hole, i don´t what to fall into it

The doors that once remains open
now has been shut in my face
I hide my self in the dark
I made a promess not to cut my self
so...i never break a promess
but i punch my legs
is hard to walk now because it hurts

I can say bunch off things
in a psicotic state
but is just a lie
i learn to lie
to defense my self from pain

The shadows of the pass keeps coming
a presence that i want to kill
If i had her in front of me
i'll break every bone in her fucking fat body
she has a face like a person whit down sindrom
well if you love her go a head
but if you have childs i´m sorry for them

Sometimes, the people know they are happy
because they can compare whit someone like me

Has pass a week since i see my psicologist
i´m desperate
i can´t sleep again
I wake up every morning even more tired than yesterday
but still i crawl to go where i´m suposs to

I have no strenght but i made it up
invent a smile and put it over my mouth

But when i´m alone
all vanishes

I want to go out again
i want light
i want sun
i want love
i want to be different
i want to reborn
i want no more stones in my shoes
i don´t want you in my life anymore
you're a big fat lier
a rat, a poisoning snake
you're a hole swalling everything that is close

But i´m reaching the edge
and i´ll break my nails and hands to scape
Hurts me once and is your fault
hurts me twice and is my fault

No one will hurt me anymore
I'm learning to walk again
i´m just a baby
and i need someone who take cares of me
i need a lullaby.

I still believe that beyond this darkness
will be a beatifull light.

Help me to believe.

sábado, 2 de enero de 2010

I got a ticket

I don't need a reminder of wath could be or couldn´t
I´m fucking crazy but not that much
I don´t need that you hide from me
there´s nothing i wanna take away from you
I lay my soul upon you, i gave you my heart
with out pretending a trade.
I can be very silly yo know?
Hold on my phone is ringing...
yeap great my crazy ex
after all this years is the only one who kept on saying i love you
but i don't believe him, mostly because i don't believe my self
I say shut up to my head so many times but she keeps screaming
runing away at the meaddle of nowhere
just to perform my final destination
one last show, the final act of salvation
I'll play russian bullet once more
but this time whit full load
I don't wanna fail! not this time!
A ticket to die
That's the only present for me this year
Reaching again the bottle, searching desperatly for my cigarrettes
i don't need clothes for this trip.
I'm sorry for my cats
but they will be just fine, they are strong cats, like i used to be.
Hey jack? why are you so empty...
put the bottle in my eye and look trought her
one last drop finaly meets my lips
the tears falling down my cheeks
there's no one to catch them
It wasn´t your fault in case you're wondering
it's just me
thats the way i'm, i never lost my pad
i'm an alcoholic, a drogadict a fucking hore
a borderline, an angry person, rabish full of madness
i´m a fucking firecraker
and i´m going to blow
I wish my life where different you know?
i whis a had an smile to show
a love to brag about
but at the end
i only have my cigarettes and my jack
All the promises i made in vain
All the treatments that couldn´t help me
All the emptyness, from the void my soul screams!

I found you in the same exact place
where i found you for the first time
Funny isn´t so?
You haven´t change a bit
still afraid, still a child hiding in your blankets
looking for something
but when you find it
you kick it away

The same voice, the same emptyness
I used to look trought your eyes
Now i´m blind
i´m tapping the vain that bleeds

Crawling, crying

I wish you good luck
I send you a kiss
I say fair well my love
Game well play
I loose

Cheers my honey
don´t be sad
it almost will be relaxing
Beyond this it will be no pain, no cuts
no burnings, no more wounds to lick
I wanna be in peace
If that means death
so be it.