Here comes the rainy days

No exit, i´m trap in a spiderweb
I see life goes by
and my feets stuck in concrete

Feeling numb, walking like a zombie
working in automatic mode
taking pill after pill

whitout having the straigth to call you for my stuff
is just that i don't want to see you
i´m sure you smell different
somehow you live
somehow i died

waiting for the rain
i want rainy days
when the sky turns grey and the ancients gods start to roar

A days a go i felt confortable in one place
but i know is just another twist of faith
it was a sad joke pretend that he call me back

I'm just so fuck up
now walking the same streets that one walked togheter
it makes me feel even more alone
i know i'm not alone
but i need something more
i always wants more

I´m a predator thats way i have canines
i have a new puppy
she's not pretty
but she is lovely
cover with dirt, flyes, scars
she almost look like my self

In the nigths she cries
and there's no way to confort her

deep inside i know
she feels insecure and lonely
maybe scared to be abandoned again

so i whisper in her hear,
babe, i not going to leave you is a promess
and hell knows that i never break a promess

and then like magic she look at me
and give a me a kiss

The Labyrinth

And the queen gave birth to a son named Asterion...

Half bull, half human
like me half wolf half women
scared like i never been
waiting that the walls colapse over me
spying on you
watching you go on and demanding remachts
with another one
writing without fear that you're in love

what's left for me?
a emptyness
a shadow
stucks in the walls of your house
like a nightmare
that a get ride off

Like a slave
in my knees crawling, bleeding

I always said to you that you're in love from her
and not from me
that you just was afraid to being alone

You play whit me
like a puppet
I'm cutting my strings but still hurts

Everything good or bad return to us in a tripple way
well let´s hope that you have the straight to resist
what is coming for you.

The crisis

I hate the way the things
turn out to be
All the wasted years, remains like ashes of a big fire
a fucking pire of lost and desintegration

I'am alone now
my cat roars she loves me
i don't kon why?
may be because i save her
from the street and the kicks
i'll never know

Yesterday i had a crisis
a big one
when everything tourn yellow around you
the air avoiding your lungs
the hands trembling
the tears falling down
the pain in my head
in my soul the hole gets bigger
i´m afraid of that hole, i don´t what to fall into it

The doors that once remains open
now has been shut in my face
I hide my self in the dark
I made a promess not to cut my self
so...i never break a promess
but i punch my legs
is hard to walk now because it hurts

I can say bunch off things
in a psicotic state
but is just a lie
i learn to lie
to defense my self from pain

The shadows of the pass keeps coming
a presence that i want to kill
If i had her in front of me
i'll break every bone in her fucking fat body
she has a face like a person whit down sindrom
well if you love her go a head
but if you have childs i´m sorry for them

Sometimes, the people know they are happy
because they can compare whit someone like me

Has pass a week since i see my psicologist
i´m desperate
i can´t sleep again
I wake up every morning even more tired than yesterday
but still i crawl to go where i´m suposs to

I have no strenght but i made it up
invent a smile and put it over my mouth

But when i´m alone
all vanishes

I want to go out again
i want light
i want sun
i want love
i want to be different
i want to reborn
i want no more stones in my shoes
i don´t want you in my life anymore
you're a big fat lier
a rat, a poisoning snake
you're a hole swalling everything that is close

But i´m reaching the edge
and i´ll break my nails and hands to scape
Hurts me once and is your fault
hurts me twice and is my fault

No one will hurt me anymore
I'm learning to walk again
i´m just a baby
and i need someone who take cares of me
i need a lullaby.

I still believe that beyond this darkness
will be a beatifull light.

Help me to believe.

I got a ticket

I don't need a reminder of wath could be or couldn´t
I´m fucking crazy but not that much
I don´t need that you hide from me
there´s nothing i wanna take away from you
I lay my soul upon you, i gave you my heart
with out pretending a trade.
I can be very silly yo know?
Hold on my phone is ringing...
yeap great my crazy ex
after all this years is the only one who kept on saying i love you
but i don't believe him, mostly because i don't believe my self
I say shut up to my head so many times but she keeps screaming
runing away at the meaddle of nowhere
just to perform my final destination
one last show, the final act of salvation
I'll play russian bullet once more
but this time whit full load
I don't wanna fail! not this time!
A ticket to die
That's the only present for me this year
Reaching again the bottle, searching desperatly for my cigarrettes
i don't need clothes for this trip.
I'm sorry for my cats
but they will be just fine, they are strong cats, like i used to be.
Hey jack? why are you so empty...
put the bottle in my eye and look trought her
one last drop finaly meets my lips
the tears falling down my cheeks
there's no one to catch them
It wasn´t your fault in case you're wondering
it's just me
thats the way i'm, i never lost my pad
i'm an alcoholic, a drogadict a fucking hore
a borderline, an angry person, rabish full of madness
i´m a fucking firecraker
and i´m going to blow
I wish my life where different you know?
i whis a had an smile to show
a love to brag about
but at the end
i only have my cigarettes and my jack
All the promises i made in vain
All the treatments that couldn´t help me
All the emptyness, from the void my soul screams!

I found you in the same exact place
where i found you for the first time
Funny isn´t so?
You haven´t change a bit
still afraid, still a child hiding in your blankets
looking for something
but when you find it
you kick it away

The same voice, the same emptyness
I used to look trought your eyes
Now i´m blind
i´m tapping the vain that bleeds

Crawling, crying
wounded

I wish you good luck
I send you a kiss
I say fair well my love
Game well play
I loose

Cheers my honey
don´t be sad
it almost will be relaxing
Beyond this it will be no pain, no cuts
no burnings, no more wounds to lick
I wanna be in peace
If that means death
so be it.

Just a look

Behind the window,
while i'm waiting
the leafs are shimmering

Crossing the street
people are sick, dying, or looking for a hope
or another form of redemption

I'm in the middle
between the sunrise and the sunset
heading no where
or heading forward

Looking life pass trought
this glass
my soul is dissapearing
she just want to fade away
is fading like the cigarette
that i desperate hold in mi fingers.

I borrow this pen from the waitress
I had the urgency to write
or cut, no knife nearby... so let's write
Will i return this pen?
I need one, and i can´t buy it
I don´t know maybe i will or perhaps not
I have only $6 in my wallet
I never been so poor and i never felt so lost
like today

The sound of the ambulance
the gasp, the screamings
the yearning death is coming

Counting the pills that i took today
thinking of they where too many or too few
I ask my self..what day is today?
my head is singing a lullabay she doesn´t care
it took a long time before she gives an answer
It matters what day is today?
I put my head between my hands and shake it
my hands are so cold lately...
Another burn in my arm
another mark
I used to be a lepard
whit some spots
now i´m panther

My arms, my legs cover with scars
finaly i´m showing what i´m carring dept inside

i just keep on waiting
the hours are so long
and my anxiety goes increcendo

I have to scape from here
i have to run again
cos the memories are hiding here and ther
i have on my back a heavy load

Sudenly i hear the giglings laugh from another table
turn my head following the bottering noise
i put my bulldog face
they shut it up

I´m not in the mood
is just another day
like yesterday, like tomorrow
another day
waiting a come back
that i know will never happen
I never loose my hope

Here comes the person that i was waiting for
It was´t you
is just a frien looking for hope in the wrong place

I put a sad smile
and i hear her pain
I've nothing to say
my lips are moving
but i don´t control what comes out

I leave the table
I leave a lot of things behind
I try to left you behind
but when i come "home"
I wait for your whistle
and your hugs

When i'm going to stop this endless wait?

I m going slightly maddddd

Couloured chambers, Fine illusions, or a gate to space

Endless stairways, fine delusions, all under my command

I'd change the sky to paint it red

I'd change the colours of life, and play with time

It's all mine!

It's only everything, all that I wanted to be

Cause it's only everything


And wise, wiser than time, wiser than life, wiser than me, only

me...

This is the end of all reason, the inner mirror reveals

There's more beyond what you're sure of, the fantasy of dreams

It's always there, the only emotion we all seem to keep down

There, while exploring dimensions

There is more, only everything


Dream! As bright or dark, as warm or hard the mind is set on

Dream! You lose control, you loose your freedom to confine it


I don't want to see this, I don't want this pain I never knew before


Feel, we're on the loose

Impressions are enlarged


I don't want to hear this, I don't want to dream to feel this again

Or to get a taste


This could be the end of all reason, the inner mirror reveals

There's more beyond what you're sure of, the fantasy of dreams

It's always there, the only emotion we all seem to keep down

There, still exploring dimensions

There is more, only everything


Become me, come feel alog with all you see

Controll me, control the keys

Do you dare to be

So deep, will you surrender now to your sleep?

Re-live your daydreams and

Come join this inner wonderland

Come let every emotion stand

To be right under your command

To let out fantasies

To change them into mysteries

Where time loses all memories

To luck and bitter agony

Re-live your daydreams awake

So join the magic of your life

Just dare to take the inner drive

To see it's only everything you can be doing tonight


Dream! as cool or hot, as smooth or rough the mind's creating

Dream! Enjoy the ride, enjoy the boundless journey you can make


I can be the maker, I can be the queen of time and twisted games

See you're on the loose

Images enlarged

I will need no reason

I just need the mirror inside me to reveal what's down below

This must be the end of all reason, the inner mirror reveals

There's more beyond what you're sure of, the fantasy of dreams

It's always there, the only emotion we all seem to keep down

There, while exploring dimensions

There is more, only everything

El disparador

Las hortensias mustias
en un balcon ya ajeno
Mi cuerpo seco de llorar tantas lagrimas
el cotideano devenir de pensamientos amorfos
Este querer rescatarme
el querer soltarme
Aullando en la oscuridad
lamiendo las heridas
con solo dos testigos
ambos incapaces de hablarme
La soledad autoimpuesta
Esa mano que viene de donde menos la esperas
Los recuerdos que se tornan borrosos
¿Las cosas eran realmente asi?
O mi mente enferma creo otra realidad
Querer acercarme
estrechar un peluche como si fuera el tesoro mas hermoso
El sol que me pega en la cara
el dolor que me pega en el alma
Los ataques de angustia
por una planta que ya ni siquiera era mia
el querer poseerlo todo
el mirar desde mi ombligo
El exceso de expectativas
el futuro que siempre fue incierto
Lenta se desmadeja mi vida
ojala que los nudos que desata Laquesis
fueran mis problemas
por que no pedirle a Clotos que corte el hilo?
Esas invitaciones que con desden rechazo
No son quien espero, no son quien quiero.
Hace mucho tiempo supe tener hortensias
me recuerdan a mi abuela
saberlas muertas una y otra vez
es el disparador
Un duelo no cerrado
las cicatrices que al igual que las de mis brazos
se vuelven a abrir
Una guitarra en una casa de musica
melodias que se agolpan en mi cabeza
son las risas que añoro
Los abrazos ciberneticos
pauperrimos de ambos lados
rotos, tristes y despedazados
Migajas de seres humanos
que vamos buscando aquello que sabemos imposible
Cual Icaro pretendemos hacernos vuelo
y mas pronto caemos de bruces al suelo
(odio las rimas cacofonicas)
El sueño que no me visita
La ansiedad transformada en sombras
Mirar el reloj y pensar que pasen rapido las horas
acostarse y quedarse quieto esperando
esperando la nada
ese vacio que no se como llenar
El despreciarme, el quererme a traves de otros
Hay momentos en donde quiero tirar todo
romper todo, quemar todo
pero me doy cuenta que ya no queda nada
ya no hay nada
Solo un silencio,
solo unas flores secas en un balcon ajeno.